The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
