the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize