it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You can't motorboat a personality
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
