I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
