Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
