am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
