Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
