put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The air was thick with penises
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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