But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
