She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
