can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
