i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
