If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
