I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
