What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
