My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize