I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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