So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
