I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
