My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
