I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
