It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
