I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
