Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Pants are for mortals
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
