i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize