Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
