I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
