If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
we should paint friendship bongs
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
