Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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