just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I lost the right to judge tonight
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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