wakey wakey hands off snakey
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
