So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
