i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
