Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
