Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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