Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
