The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
