dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
