I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize