Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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