is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
