I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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