I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
