Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
