I am spending my child support on dildos
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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