she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
