Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
