Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
