still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
