why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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