Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
