Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
