My friends, they love my intelligence
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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