whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
