I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
