he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
