saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
